


want to be your comfort and move your heart

by bubblyying



Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Best Leader Choi Soobin, Choi Soobin-Centric, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Kang Taehyun Needs A Hug, Kang Taehyun-Centric, Literal Sleeping Together, M/M, Nightmares, Soft Choi Soobin, i forgot how to write a summary rip, minor mentions of the other members, platonic? romantic? your call i guess, sort of set before tdce comeback
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-03
Updated: 2020-09-03
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:40:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26268880
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bubblyying/pseuds/bubblyying
Summary: Soobin gets worried when he realizes that Taehyun had been acting off the entire day and decides to find out why.
Relationships: Choi Soobin & Kang Taehyun, Choi Soobin/Kang Taehyun
Comments: 5
Kudos: 127





	want to be your comfort and move your heart

**Author's Note:**

> soob is 숩 house because soobin is home  
> i didn’t think i would write for ships other than taejun/taegyu, but we’ve been getting so much taebin content lately, and honestly even if they’re not a main ship, I just really love their dynamic and how supportive they are of one another. So here’s…. whatever this is. (:  
> 

Taehyun rarely takes his own faults into stride.

It’s in his personality and personal motivation to strive for near-perfection in everything he does. He was, in a way, brought up to showcase the best of him no matter what – from his child modelling days to schooling life, to becoming a trainee at Big Hit and to debuting with Tomorrow x Together.

Since the day he ranked the lowest during the trainees’ monthly rankings (essentially, the first month that he became a trainee), Taehyun had sworn to himself that he had to keep perfecting his craft. Even with ever-piling schoolwork and gruelling schedules, he had always tried to find time in-between to continue practising his dancing and singing, up until the point where he finally managed to tie with Yeonjun during the rankings, surprising both of them. And then debut evaluation came around, and everything in his life started to intensify. And more after that.

Taehyun learnt to scrutinize every mistake and fault that he had, and he used it to work towards what he had always envisioned for himself. He always believed in putting 120% of his effort into everything he did, after all. It made him happy to hear when people were satisfied with the work that he put in, and he never wanted to be any less than exceeding expectations.

But of course, things could never always go his way.

* * *

Soobin could hear Taehyun’s soft and nervous voice through the glass window of the recording booth, where he was sitting on the couch, waiting for the younger boy to finish his recording session.

“Is there anything else I need to fix?”

“Well…. Nothing else that stands out – I think you’re good, really. But I also think you need to get some rest, you look and sound tired.” The company’s sound engineer replies, smiling reassuringly, though Taehyun still scratches the back of his neck, looking rather unsure of himself.

After years of being around his teammates, Soobin has learnt to read their mannerisms and understand their emotions with just one look. He knows it goes the same way with the rest of the group – they spend practically every day and every second by each other’s sides, it’s inevitable.

So that’s how he realizes, early on when the recording started, that Taehyun had been acting rather off.

It’s obvious in the way that Taehyun’s fists clench at his sides and the way he slightly curls into himself as he waits for feedback from the sound engineer when they do their recordings. He notices how Taehyun frowns when he listens back to himself, and how he cringes at some parts that seem perfectly fine as Soobin also listens along as well. In fact, he had been overly tense since he waved goodbye to the group members before leaving for his session, up until the group was ready to head home and Soobin had been sent to retrieve Taehyun, who had not left the booth for hours.

Kai’s hushed words to him, as the rest of the group lounges in the break room after dance lessons had ended, continues to echo through his mind.

_“Hyung, Taehyunnie was crying in his bed last night.”_

_Soobin startles, the snack in his hand forgotten, and turns sideways to meet Kai’s pleading gaze, noticing how his forehead was knitted in frustration and worry._

_“Have… have you talked to him? Figured out anything?”_

_“He said he was just up watching a sad movie, but you know that we’ve been together long enough that I can tell when Taehyunnie’s lying.”_

“Just let me know, please. I can fix it now.” Taehyun’s voice is resolute as he addresses their producer. His head droops a little from exhaustion, but he shakes his head slightly, as if trying to stay awake.

“Taehyun-ah….” Their producer, who at this point is also like a close hyung to them, shakes his head. “You’ve been recording for hours. If we need to fix anything, I’ll let you know, but we can always fix it another time. Right now, you need to rest.”

Taehyun bites his lip and his fists shake a little, his eyes glassy. He looked as though he was trying to hold himself back from protesting to get more time in the recording booth. Soobin finally decides that he cannot stand waiting on the sidelines any longer and he gets up, knocking on the door of the recording booth that Taehyun remained in.

When Taehyun opens the door, he freezes, then peers over Soobin to look at the clock hanging in the hallway. He glances nervously between the clock, Soobin’s earnest expression, and the producer’s relieved look.

“Soobin-hyung…” he tries, not daring to meet his leader in the eyes, “I still have some work to do. You guys can go home first, I’ll just call a cab.”

“Hajoon-hyungnim, does he actually have work left for the day?” Soobin addresses their producer, and he receives a quick “no” as Hajoon answers without having to think further.

“C’mon, Taehyunnie.” Soobin proceeds to cajole again.

“But…”

Hajoon-hyung smiles tiredly at Soobin. “Soobin-ah, take him home, please.” Taehyun shoots him yet another pleading look, but their producer just gestures back to Soobin again. Perhaps he realizes that he cannot continue to fight against the opinions of two older hyungs, because Soobin notices Taehyun’s shoulders slump and the soft sigh of defeat that follows.

And so Taehyun lets himself be pulled away from the microphone in the recording booth, lets Soobin wrap an arm around his shoulders and gently guide him towards the door. His steps are slightly hesitant, and he takes quick glances back at the recording booth as if he had left something important behind, but Soobin focuses on being resolute, and he focuses on getting Taehyun back to the van, where the others are waiting. He, however, still feels a pang in his chest at how Taehyun is unusually silent and tense. While Taehyun is usually the more calm one among his members, the silence feels….. exceptionally stifling.

Taehyun breaks out of Soobin’s grip as soon as they reach the van, and he crawls into the backseat of the van, where he curls up into his seat after buckling himself in and stares resolutely out of the window, ignoring the presence of others in the van. Even Kai, who was also sitting in the backseat beside Taehyun’s now-occupied seat, tilts his head worriedly and glances at Soobin for answers. Soobin bites his lip, returning Kai’s worried expression, and slides into his seat.

“Taehyunnie, what do you want for dinner? We can order it now so it’ll be ready for us on the way back. We could get sushi! I feel like getting udon.” Beomgyu breaks the silence, smiling hopefully as he glances back at Taehyun.

“Just get whatever, it doesn’t matter.”

They’re never surprised at how casual Taehyun sometimes was with their dinner choices, but it’s the tone in which he addresses Beomgyu that startles the group. It’s stilted and flat, and Soobin wonders whether he had imagined the slight break in his voice at the last word.

Beomgyu and Yeonjun now also turn their confusion onto Soobin, who closes his eyes and leans back into his seat in frustration. They get the hint and the van is silent for the rest of the ride after their usual orders are placed.

* * *

After dinner, Taehyun quickly gets up and walks away to hide in the bedroom he shares with Kai, ignoring the latter’s calls to watch a movie together. Kai frowns after Taehyun’s retreating figure – the older boy rarely rejects his offers for movie night – and Yeonjun places a comforting hand on his shoulder.

“Let him have his space for tonight, Kai-ah.”

Three pairs of curious eyes turn to stare worriedly at Soobin.

“Did…. Did Taehyunnie say what was bothering him, hyungie?” Beomgyu asked quietly.

Soobin lowered his chopsticks, sighing deeply. Taehyun’s strangely aloof behaviour had definitely been bothering him, and he was afraid that if it continued, Taehyun would proceed into his downward spiral.

“I don’t know…. But I’ll talk to him.”

_Taehyun-ah_

_Do you want to go on a walk with hyung? I’ll treat you to bingsu tomorrow night._

A few minutes passed and there was no response, which worried Soobin even more, given Taehyun’s usual instant text replies. While he was contemplating whether to simply bust open the door and demand the talk to happen, the door to the maknaes’ room opens.

Taehyun walked so quickly to the front door that none of the members were able to catch a glimpse at his face. He maintained his back to them, kneeling down to put on and tie his shoes.

“Are we still going, Soobin-hyung?” he calls out, still not looking back. His voice was somewhat weak and hoarse, and Soobin would have chalked that up to a long day of recording had he not noticed the sniffle that followed. He jumps up and immediately grabs a coat, slipping on some sneakers and rushing out after Taehyun. Before the door closes, he hears Kai whisper, “All the best, Soobinie-hyung.”

Soobin eventually catches up with Taehyun, who seemed intent on walking while looking straight forward, only a nod to acknowledge Soobin’s presence. They walk together in silence for a while, taking in the sights of the city. Soobin occasionally sneaks glances at Taehyun, but the latter does not return the eye contact.

Their steps subconsciously lead them to a park that was located a few blocks from their dorm. Taehyun stops by an empty wooden bench, and takes his seat, curling in on himself. Soobin frowns worriedly, but takes the empty space beside him, continuing to take careful glances at the younger boy.

Moments pass before Taehyun finally speaks again, tilting his head sideways to look at Soobin from the corner of his eye.

“Hyung, if you’re not going to say anything I think I’d like to go back to the dorm now.”

Soobin bites his lip at the hoarse and dull tone of Taehyun’s voice.

“Taehyun, you know you can talk to me right? It’s not healthy if you keep it all to yourself. We’re all here for you; me and Yeonjun-hyung and Beomgyu-ah and Hueningie. We’re all worried about you, Taehyunnie.”

Taehyun frowns, fidgeting with the strings of his hoodie.

“I-I’m fine-“

Soobin narrows his eyes at the way Taehyun digs his nails into his arms, shrinking even further into himself like it was even more possible.

“Liar,” he remarks simply, watching as Taehyun bites his lip and averts his eyes away, the light from the streetlamp catching the way his ears turn red under Soobin’s gaze.

“Look, I-“ Taehyun hesitates, bunching the fabric of his hoodie within his fist. He was now visibly shaking, taking in ragged breaths with visible effort.

Soobin’s eyes widen in alarm, and he immediately moves to cup Taehyun’s cheeks, tilting his face up gently so that their eyes met. It’s the first time Soobin had managed to look Taehyun in the eye since they returned home from practice, and he immediately takes in the red-rimmed and swollen eyes, puffy cheeks and red nose that Soobin was sure wasn’t from the cold, since it was way past winter.

It was as if Taehyun had already been crying for a while before they left the house. Soobin’s heart aches.

“Hey, wait,” he coos softly, trying to keep Taehyun’s attention onto him. “I shouldn’t have pushed, I’m sorry-“

“My dreams have been so, _so_ bad recently.” Taehyun blurts out, his voice wavering. “It gets frustrating and then I wake up crying or anxious and I can’t go straight back to sleep so I have to lie in bed and just… think. And then I think too much! And then it affects my work and I can’t do this anymore, it’s driving me nuts!”

“Taehyunnie-“ Soobin continues to soothe, reaching a hand to rub at Taehyun’s back, but the latter was already getting more agitated.

“I can’t be like this anymore; I have to be perfect. We’ve let our fans wait so long for the next comeback; I just get disappointed that I may not live to their expectations. It’s so frustrating. When can I ever get a good night’s sleep!” Taehyun’s voice cracks at the end, and he digs the heels of his hands into his eyes, sniffling.

Soobin hums sadly, wrapping an arm around Taehyun’s shoulders and pulling him closer so that Taehyun can lean sideways, his head onto Soobin’s chest. Soobin holds Taehyun close, intertwines their fingers together because he remembers how Taehyun loves holding hands, and hopes that he’s providing enough comfort.

(Soobin allows himself to marvel at how Taehyun’s tiny hands seem to slot so effortlessly into his own larger hands, like connecting puzzle pieces together. He allows himself to get just that bit of satisfaction.)

They stay in that position until Taehyun starts to relax in Soobin’s hold. And it’s Soobin who eventually breaks the silence enveloping them.

“Tell me some of these dreams? It’ll help to let it all out.”

Taehyun huffs out a breath and nods. And so Soobin sits quietly and listens to how Taehyun divulges being stuck in a helicopter with an unresponsive pilot and feeling helpless as the helicopter moves around, being unable to seize control no matter what he does. He also shares another dream where he was running late for a test and became overwhelmed with the various sights and sounds that distracted him from his destination.

It scares Soobin to even hear about these dreams, that he wonders how Taehyun had been dealing with these nightmares on his own for the past few days.

It’s the last dream that tugs the most at Soobin’s heartstrings, however.

“…You were in the dream, actually.”

Soobin raises an eyebrow. “Wait, what did I do wrong?”

Taehyun laughs nervously at Soobin’s question. “You… I was lost in the crowd, and after a while of looking around, I spotted you. I walked straight towards you, but when you looked at me, you didn’t seem to recognize me – in fact, you pushed me away when I tried to link my arms and then walked away from me. And then the crowd got larger and louder and I got even more overwhelmed and boom, I woke up again.”

Soobin stays silent and Taehyun turns around to face him. When he notices Soobin’s pout and downcast eyes, he panics and throws his arms around Soobin, squeezing him tight.

“It’s not your fault, hyung! I know now that you won’t do that in real life – the dream just made it feel real.” Taehyun reassures quickly as he pulls apart slowly to give Soobin a soft smile, even though Soobin could still see a tiny bit of doubt in his eyes.

Soobin tightens his arms around Taehyun’s waist as well, reaching a hand up to brush back Taehyun’s hair from where it had fallen onto his face, revealing bright and sparkly doe eyes that stared back at Soobin. He feels Taehyun’s breath hitch at the skin-on-skin contact, and Taehyun doesn’t let go of his breath until Soobin drops his hand to interlock their fingers together again.

They were sitting so close to each other that Soobin could almost feel the rapid thump-thumping of Taehyun’s heart against his chest. He wonders if Taehyun could also feel that both of their hearts were doing the same thing.

“I was supposed to comfort you, but you’re comforting me instead,” Soobin chuckles, giving their interlocked hands a soft squeeze.

Taehyun smiles awkwardly and rests his forehead onto Soobin’s shoulder.

“’m sorry I made you come out so late just to talk with me over something so stupid-”

“Don’t,” Soobin chides softly, “Don’t you ever think that you’re burdening me. Your feelings are real and valid and it’s always good to talk to someone about this, okay? And about that last dream…” he stills a bit, collecting his thoughts together in a coherent manner, “you know I’ll never leave you behind, right? You can trust me, Taehyunnie. I’ll be here for you no matter what.”

He tilts Taehyun’s head just momentarily to place a gentle kiss onto his forehead. “Okay?”

Taehyun nods in response, humming as he nuzzles himself into the crook of Soobin’s neck. 

“Let’s go home, hyung.” He finally whispers.

* * *

“Taehyun?”

Soobin turns back and looks at the younger boy, who had stopped abruptly in the middle of the pavement, pulling Soobin to a stop as well as his arm was linked around the older boy.

Taehyun pauses again as he stares ahead, his gaze distant yet thoughtful.

“I realized something,” he admits quietly, closing his eyes and taking in a deep breath. “I just… if I sleep, I’ll dream again. And I’m tired of getting these nightmares. It seems as if my rest would still be disrupted regardless of whether I go to sleep or not anyway. Wouldn’t going back home to sleep be futile anyway?”

Soobin nods slowly. “If you’re still worried… would you be okay if I sleep together with you tonight then? Maybe having someone around would help.”

He had done the same thing before, years ago when he was a little boy living with his doting parents and loving older sister and brother. Whenever he woke up in the middle of the night, shaking and crying, he knew that he could always crawl into someone’s bed and be held by a person (or people) that he loved the most.

He just wanted to provide the same comfort to his younger brothers that had allowed him to feel safe and loved as a child.

He notices the flush that spreads across Taehyun’s cheeks as the boy is momentarily taken aback, but he waits patiently.

Taehyun nods shyly, and tugs at Soobin’s arm again, continuing their walk. Soobin smiles softly to himself in triumph.

They reach home late at night, where most of the lights in the main area of their home had already been turned off. The lights in the bedrooms are still on, however, and Soobin guesses that the other three were still waiting for the duo to return.

Soobin gestures for Taehyun to use the bathroom to shower first, and while the younger boy is cleaning himself up, Soobin grabs blankets and pillows from his and Taehyun’s beds, softly reassuring Beomgyu and Kai in their respective rooms about Taehyun. Kai offers a couple of his Molang plushies to accompany the duo, and Soobin allows himself to giggle softly despite his exhaustion, patting Kai’s head affectionately in gratitude. He stops by Yeonjun’s room to update him on the situation as well, and Yeonjun smiles and thanks him for looking out for Taehyun.

When Soobin enters the living room after changing into his sleepwear, Taehyun is already curled up under the blankets, aimlessly scrolling through Weverse. He puts his phone away sheepishly at Soobin’s raised eyebrow, moving over so that Soobin can crawl under the pile of blankets as well. When Soobin makes himself comfortable, Taehyun moves closer so that he can rest his head on Soobin’s chest, arms tightening around his waist and tangling their legs together as he clings onto Soobin.

“’Night, hyung. Love you.” Taehyun slurs his words as he starts to drift off to sleep, the events of the day catching up to him. Soobin smiles, carding his fingers through Taehyun’s hair in a soothing gesture until he is sure that the younger boy is sleeping soundly. He leaves a soft kiss on the crown of Taehyun’s head, leaning back onto the pillow and closing his eyes.

“Goodnight, Taehyunnie. I love you too.”

And for one night, Taehyun doesn’t dream.

**Author's Note:**

> (and what if this is another Author's Random Vent Fic 2.0)  
> if you're wondering what some dreams mentioned in this story may indicate, i took most of the meanings from [this website](http://www.dreamforth.com/)... i hope this is mostly accurate; please let me know if you know of a website that has accurate readings bc tbh i'm curious as well since i've had similar dreams (hence i picked those) LOL
> 
> twt: [@tataekvng](https://twitter.com/tataekvng)


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